a very brief update...I think...

So I suppose that I should probably update you all on how I am except that nothing’s really changed. They haven’t gotten my meds to regulate my pain yet. My surgery date is scaring the crap out of me. And in reading people’s blogs, I frequently come across pictures of zipperhead’s scars which scare me even more.

So basically I’m scared, not because I don’t trust God, because that’s definitely not the case, but because it’s my head and practically my brain and if they mess up I could be paralyzed or dead. It’s just a scary concept.

And then there’s the fact that I hate hospitals which stems from the fact that they couldn’t fix my daddy so how do they think they’re going to possibly do any better with me. It’s all just a mentality but I can’t seem to get rid of it and I’m going to be staying there for probably 3-4 days or more. How am I ever going to survive that!?!?

I mean I really am trusting God to take care of me I mean He’s already placed me in the same dorm and even on the same floor as another girl who’s had brain surgery before and even though it wasn’t for the same thing there’s still a connection because of the common fear and common approximate incision location. Since she’s still alive that gives me some hope and I’m trying to have the hope that this will seriously lessen my symptoms, but the fear’s definitely still there.

I guess right now my prayer is that the fear will subside so that I can concentrate on my homework and so that when I have time to rest and relax I can enjoy the moments of free time that God has given me.

Well this is my update for this month…stay tuned for next time when Beth comes out and sings a silly song…dun…dunn…dunnnn…haha just kidding! :P