So now it’s after Spring Break (I was planning on writing this before Spring Break, but now I’m happy that I didn’t because I think I have something to actually share this time rather than just an update to make) and I was definitely right because the problems did not go away. Most of the time that I was at home, my mom was sick and as the week wore on we found out that she needed to have her gallbladder removed before May.
Well, she had that done last week and is feeling better but I’m starting to feel not-so-good. Will this ever end?!?! Yeah so I know that the answer is that it will only end in heaven, but sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to wait that long or that I could go really soon. I know that God’s got it all under His control but sometimes I’m just too human and get impatient. But I mean don’t we all get that way sometimes? Not always with God but with something, some things just aren’t quite fast enough for us, especially all of us here in America. I think those are the moments when God wishes we’d just lay back, relax, and enjoy His creation and the life He has given us.
The night before last amidst some of those quiet, still moments, when I had gotten out my Bible and devotional stuff and settled down on my “incredibly comfy desk chair,” I read something that made me almost cry and laugh at the same time. I’ve been reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers (isn’t that the awesomest first name ever!?!?) pretty much because, well, I already had one copy of the book from when I became a member of my church, but then during Spring Break I got home and there was yet another copy of the same book on my dresser, also from my church, well more correctly from the senior pastor I suppose because in the front there was a message asking me to read through this book this year. The pastor also said that he was reading through it as well, and upon asking my mom about it, learned that he’d sent one to all the college students this year. Since this was the second copy I’d received and this one had a message in it asking me to read it this year, I decided that God must really want me to read if he went to all that trouble to get it to me and then to get my attention so that I actually would read it (even though it’s not any trouble for God at all). Anyways, I started reading it at the beginning of April, and I’m quite sure it must have been one of the brighter moves that I’ve made in my lifetime because it has been an incredible blessing to me. Anyways, so the night before last, I was reading the devotional for that night (April 20th) and it really hit me. It was about not falsely accusing God just because we think that we can’t do something. It took an example from a parable in Matthew 25:14-30 and pulled something out of it in a way I’d never heard before. The devotional talked about how the servant made it sound like he was telling his master that he wasn’t able to do what the master had told him to do so he just didn’t; this was then related to when God tells us what to do. We tend to say that we can’t do things a lot of times but that’s like telling God that He’s not strong enough and powerful enough to help us do those things that we need to do. When we accuse God of not being great enough, we are falsely accusing Him. He is great enough and strong enough and powerful enough and awesome enough to tell us that if we have mustard-seed-sized faith in Him we could tell a mulberry tree to go plant itself in the sea and it would (Luke 17:6). The writer of the devotional then brought up Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (NKJV). The point he made was that obviously we shouldn’t wrongfully accuse God of not being able to help us do anything He wants us to do; but equally importantly, if we seek God with all our hearts first and foremost that He will stick everything else we need into the gift bag with the salvation so-to-speak…meaning that He’ll add that to the free gift that He gives us. Obviously that doesn’t mean that we can then run off and leave and do whatever we want though, we still have to keep up the relationship with Him in order to keep all the presents. There aren’t strings attached persé but there are things we have to do to honor the commitment we made to Christ if we want to enjoy all the good things He gives us.
Anyways, what this all meant for me is that I need to not worry about all the stuff in my life that I’m having trouble with (which would be everything) and just let God take care of it, but even more than that if I just focus on Him and keeping that relationship pure and right then He’ll make sure everything else gets taken care of. I mean He really loves us! It’s awesome! I love it! But even way more, I love Him!!!
So, moral of this long story, don’t worry about stuff just keep your relationship with God on the up and up and He’ll take good care of you just you wait and see!
Ok so praises for me:
- I’ve been struggling since Spring Break with putting words on a page or even making sentences make sense in my head and now look at this! It’s almost 1500 words long!!!!!
- Another one would be that I had an awesome time with God the night before last, and they’ve been getting better as I’ve been getting more consistent again. And this devotional book has been a real blessing during them as well.
- Another praise would be for the friends that God has blessed me with during both last year and this year who’ve encouraged me, challenged me, and prayed for me so much, well in addition to a whole bunch of stuff that would take probably 8 years to list!
- And especially for my roommate this year who’s gone far above and way beyond the call of duty as a roommate and has been more like my personal assistant as she’s driven me places, done pretty much all my laundry, encouraged me to keep trying at just about everything, pushed me to eat more and better food even when I was having a hard time even looking at food (sometimes she even made me quesadillas!), challenged me to grow stronger in my faith, and a whole lot of other things. She probably thinks I need to stop typing, close my computer, and go to bed, but she and all my friends here at school, home, and that far off place called Ohio are all totally and completely worth thanking for their prayer support especially throughout this very trying year of my life as well as for everything else they’ve done to help and encourage me this year.
Now for my prayer requests:
- I’m still having trouble with my homework; I have some big-ish tests coming up tomorrow and in the next week.
- I have a lot of things that I need to get done in the next 4 weeks or so that there’s no way I can possibly get done in my own strength.
- I’ve been having more pain today and yesterday and with the way things go I figure it’ll probably be around for at least another week or so. Most of the time when the pain starts up, it kinda starts flare-ups and those tend to last 1-2weeks on average.
- I’ve got some nerves that on edge again about surgery.
- My house needs to sell in order to take some of the financial strain off my family.
- And the last thing I can think of off the top of my head right now, at 1:30 in the morning, is for my mom as she heals from her surgery that she’ll keep getting better and won’t have any infections or anything else like that so that she can get back to her job and the life that she enjoys.
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