and a sidenote...i have a terrible worse-than-migraine level headache so if stuff doesn't make sense i'm sure you can guess why.
so here's the chapter that God led me to when i was asking why a lot as to why i have fibromyalgia and Chiari malformation...and why life was going the way it was. and then i read this chapter and everything i was questioning made sense...maybe just for that moment but it all made sense to me.
and another sidenote...my reading these verses came from a good friend here on my wing leaving me a note of encouragement (in my clothespin out in the hallway on the wall where people leave notes of encouragement for other people) and in the note she included 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 and after reading those verses decided to find out what the rest of that chapter said and that's how i got around to reading those verses at a time when i needed them a lot.
2 Corinthians 4:1-18
1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
so verses 1-2 talk about how we're here to minister God's truth to everyone without weaving in any lies or deceiving stories...we have to tell them how it is...that if they believe in God and put their faith and trust in Him that they'll have eternal life...and that if they don't believe in Him and trust Him and put their faith in Him that they will not have eternal life. it's that simple. and that's the message that we're here on this earth to proclaim. the next 4 verses go on to talk about us having God's light in us and that's why life without God is in the dark. anyways, so i read that and understood why i'm here but i still had questions so i kept on reading.
verses 7-12 talk about how God lets us go through difficult times but won't let us be completely destroyed if His power is our treasure in our lowly earthly human bodies. He allows death to be at work in us so that His power will show through our lives.
verses 13-15 remind us of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for our sins but also that we will rise to meet Him in the air.
verses 16-18 are the key verses for me..."Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day" (verse 16). that's me...i'm wasting away physically but He's renewing my mind to be fixed on Him and His great love. He reminds us that "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all" (verse 17). these troubles are getting me closer to heaven i guess which is good...i mean, personally, i'd rather just go rather than stay here in all this pain...or be healed - that'd be another good option...but i've come to a place in my relationship with God that i'm willing to stay here and live this painful life if my doing so will bring Him the most glory. it's not about me anymore...it's about Him. He's ultimately in charge anyway so why not just let Him be in charge now since i'm ready for Him to just take over and lead the way from now on. lastly, "so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (verse 18).it reminds me of Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." we don't need to know where we're going we just need to trust in our One, True, Unseen God because He knows the path and He holds the future anyway. i definitely feel that if God wants me to be healed that's great...and if He wants me home in heaven then that's fine too...but if He wants me to stay here and serve Him right where i am then that's fine too...whatever brings Him the most glory is what i want the most...i'm being very serious...i really do want that.
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